Top 20 Happenings

1. Giovanni's parent can to visit us for the first time since we have been in Michigan. They stayed with us the last two weeks of August.

2. We took Giovanni's parents to Chicago were we saw the Blue Man Group, went on the Untouchable Tour, shopped, and ate some great food.

3. Lily is fitting in great with our little family!

4. I have never met a dog who loves people as much as she does. I call her my little social butterfly

5. Lily loves acorns, hates squirrels!

6. Lily goes crazy at the dog park.

7. My summer has ended and I am back to the reality of my job.

8. I am lucky that I have some great kidos this year!

9. I'm continuing taking classes for my autism endorsement.

10. I cut off all my hair to donate to Locks of Love!

11. My dad's birthday was September 8th

12. He would have been 81 years old

13. I miss him and think about him everyday!

14. I smile when I think about how he is finally with my mom again after 20 years

15. We have officially withdrew from the Ecuador Adoption Program

16. We are officially waiting in the Domestic Infant Adoption Program through Bethany Christian Services

17. You can find our profile on Bethany's website (http://waitingfamilies.bethany.org/)

18. We also had to make a book that talked more about ourselves and our family.

19. Pretty soon we will start to work on the nursery....I can't wait!

20. Last weekend we met up with Giovanni's sister and husband in Chicago

Changes in Our Adoption Journey

Like any journey, there are always twists and turns. There comes a time when your reach the proverbial fork in the road and you have to decide which way to go.

After over two years of working to adopt a child from Ecuador we have decided to withdraw our application from the Ecuador program. The Ecuadorian adoption program is going through some changes and has become somewhat unreliable. We were beginning to think the likelihood of us getting matched with a healthy child from Ecuador was going to be unlikely.

We have decided to begin the process for domestic infant adoption through Bethany Christian Services. We are excited about this new adventure! We have been working with our social worker and should have our new homestudy finalized by September. I am looking forward to starting to decorate the nursery as we wait to be matched with a birthmother.

Gabriel Vendetti

http://baue.tributes.com/show/Gabriel-Vendetti-92006068

Its Been Awhile!

Its been over a month since I have had a chance to post an update. The end of the school year and the start of my Autism classes have kept me busy. Yes, I am back to school. I will be take classes for the next two years to obtain my endorsement in Autism...always a student :) Now that summer is here I hope that I will have more to to regularly update our blog.

Our adoption journey came to a major fork in the road at the beginning of the month. The referral committees in Ecuador have not been able to meet at all this year for lack of a quorum. We received an e-mail from CHSFS stating that the expected national committee that was to be held in May did not happen. It is suspected that these difficulties are due to the changes that Ecuador in making to create a more efficient adoption system. We were told in an e-mail that CHSFS is was now REQUIRING us to explore the possibility of dual-list with another adoption program. Dual-listing means that we pursue a single adoption while waiting in two different programs. When we received placement of a child through one program the application for the second program is placed on hold. So our options were: 1. Continue to wait with just Ecuador; unsure of when or even if they will give referrals for 'healthy children' for international adoption 2. Dual list with another country's international program 3. Dual list with Bethany for their domestic infant adoption program 4. List with another country or domestic and leave the Ecuador program. It many not seem like a big set back but when you look at dual-listing from a financial aspect it is. Dual-listing with another country would mean redoing all the paperwork, documents, and paying almost all the fees again. That is a lot of time and money that we don't necessarily have. It felt like we were right back to where we started from over two years ago. For weeks we researched, debated and prayed for some incite on what we should do. Finally we decided to dual-list in the domestic infant adoption program thought Bethany. We are just in the initial stages; trying to figure out what paperwork we will have to do/redo. We are hoping that this process will be more stable and move a little more quickly.

For some happy news....June 3rd Giovanni and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary! We've been though a lot over those 5 years, but I can imagine going though it with anyone else. To celebrate our anniversary we decided to added a new member to our family. So here she is.......... Introducing Lily!

She is a chihuahua/jack russel mix, about 2 years old, and is the sweetest thing! We got her from the Animal Rescue Project and it was love at first sight. She went with me to St. Louis a couple of weeks ago and she had such a fun time. She played with Tiki (my sister's dog) and absolutely LOVED going up to see my dad. She was very popular there. I think we have a therapy dog in our mist.

Adoption Update...
On April 13th the Central Authority held a meeting. We had to wait awhile to hear of the result of this meeting. We got word last week. The meeting was held at the National Council for Children and Adolescent and was attended by the Executive Secretary of the National Council for Children and Adolescents and the Central Authority of Ecuador. The directors of the orphanages and members of the Family Assignment Committees of Quito, Guayaquil, and Cuenca and the members of the UTAs of Quito were also there. At this meeting the Executive Secretary apologized for what has happened in the country's adoption program. She indicated that this government's intentions are to make the adoption proceedings transparent and to discover the critical challenges that adoptions face in the country and then overcome them. It was indicated that it is the first time in the country's history that the institution of adoption has been taken so seriously and it is hoped to leave in quite strengthened, but that they cannot ignore that these process always take time, during which there will be challenges and victories, and they definitely consider that there have been more victories than challenges. They said that it has been very important to make administrative changes because the personnel that forms both the DNA and the UTSs must be qualifies and knowledgeable and that this process has been very difficult. They also mentioned that the guidelines for the process of suitability of both national and international families are still being reviewed. They indicated that one of the strongest and more critical points are the proceedings that must be followed to clarify that children's legal status and that in the next few months it is hoped that this process will be administrative and no longer judicial, and that INFA will be the office in charge of this part of the process, and that the staff has already been hired and the are being trained. Additionally, they reiterated that the judicial adoption proceedings will only be carried out in Quito, the capital city. In order to implement all these changes, the Ecuadorian Congress will have to approve the legal reforms. A new project of law has already been submitted to the Ecuadorian Congress. Once the Congress approves the reforms, the CNNA will start implementing the changes. Of course there is no time frame of when this is going to happen. They have said that they will have a big national committee meeting this month at which they hope to assign the children who are waiting.
We have no specific new about us. The agency tells us to continue to be patient. If there is one thing that this process has taught me it is how to find strength, patience, and comfort in knowing that it is all in HIS hands.

Capone

This week we had to say good bye to Capone. He was not eating and was really tired so I took him to the vet last week. The vet did an ultrasound on his heart and what he saw was not good. His heart was not working the way it should. We always knew that Capone had heart problems. These heart problems lead to Capone being diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure a little over a year ago; the vet gave him about three months. Even though we have had many scares with him, he had been able to live out this past year happily. The vet has dubbed him "The Miracle Cat". We have been committee to do all we could for Capone as long as we knew that he was happy and in good spirits. I'm sure that there are some people out there that thought we were crazy for all we did for him. The people working at the pharmacy got to know us well and would always say that Capone was "one lucky cat". I feel like we were the lucky ones.

Capone went from a skittish cat living on the street to my inseparable companion. I am so glad we made the decision to take him with us when we moved up to Michigan. He was there for me all the nights Giovanni was gone traveling for work. He was there to make me laugh and smile when I felt like crying. He was very special! He was not the type of cat that did his own thing. He was constantly by my side or under my feet. The last couple of days have been hard. Every time I turn around I expect to see him following me. Every time I sit on the couch I expect him to crawl up into my lap. Every time I wake up in the morning I expect to feel him cuddling next to me. And as much as Giovanni hates to admit it, I think that he misses Capone too.

Picking Up the Pieces

It is hard to explain all the emotions one feels while on this journey of adoption. I guess you can describe it as a roller coaster of emotions. Unless you have been though this process, it is difficult for many to understand all the highs and lows we have experienced on our journey to bring a child into our family. Right now we are at a low. Probably one of the lowest we have been. On March 25th we got the call that we had a referral. We were beyond ecstatic! Then we were told to look carefully at all his medical records, as he has some medical needs. We spent the weekend studying the referral and doing our research. Still elated to FINALLY be here! Then on Monday it all started to unravel. We talked to two Ecuadorian doctors, both pointing out more medical complications and concerns then we were able to picked up from the reports. On Wednesday we had a visit with a local pediatrician. She went through the reports, explaining all the medical terminology and her thoughts. She did not seem that concerned until it came up in the conversation that we were not initially looking to adopt a child with special needs. There were a lot of red flags that this child would need extensive medical care and there was a high probability that he could have a sever life long disability. I have sent days crying as we tried to decided what we were going to do. We finally had to make the heart wrenching decision that this referral was not a good match for our family. We decided in the beginning of this process what we believed we were ready to handle as parents. Unfortunately that has not changed and it was extremely disappointing that the Ecuadorian adoption council, knowing this information, did not take that into account when giving us the referral. Through this whole process I have tried to be strong, tried to stay positive. But as time goes on it becomes harder and harder. Adoption is not for the weak hearted. I am not sure how to exactly recover from this. We have spent almost four years trying to have a child. Each time we suffer a set back, its like the same emotional wound get torn open. Just when you feel like you are healing....it happens again and again. This emotional wound is by far the worst. It has left me heart broken. And I am not sure if I can pick up all the pieces this time. As for what's next...We have no idea. All we can do right now is pray...pray to receive another referral and pray that this little boy will find his forever family to go home to.

Last week I was lucky enough to be able to spend a long weekend in St. Louis with my family. The last time I was in St. Louis was over Thanksgiving break. It was very difficult for me to leave then since I was not sure if I would ever see my dad again. We were told that he could possible only have a few more weeks to live. Fast forward about 3 month and I am feeling so blessed to have had the opportunity to spend some more time with him.

News on the adoption front....
Things have been moving slow in Ecuador over the last couple of months. In 2011 work stated on Monday, January 3rd, with some problems, such as a disintegrated National Adoptions Office, and members of civil society who are part of the National Children's and Adolescents Council (CNNA-acronym in Spanish) whose appointments have expired and without clear procedures for holding a new election and without a public budget for the same, Therefore the CNNA has not met to evaluate how it will meet the objectives proposed for this year. In this far from encouraging scenario, meetings of the Assignment Committee have been called, but there was not a quorum at most of them to hold the meeting, which is why no national or international referrals have been made. CHSFS Ecuador representative supposedly has managed to get them to hold an extraordinary committee meeting for them to make the referrals in specific cases of waiting children who have already been proposed to CHSFS to seek families for them. Last week the CHSFS representative in Ecuador met with the directors of the homes/orphanages in Quito and the agreed to ask the Executive Secretary of the National Children's and Adolescent Council, for a meeting to request the a clear period of time be given in which the committee meetings and referrals will start again. This meeting will be requested for the week of March 14-18th. She hopes that the petition will be accepted and that there will be some results.
Right now we continue our wait. There is not a lot we can do at this point except to continue to be optimistic and pray....it's all in His hands!

Same Old Same Old

We recently got a brief update from CHSFS about the happenings in Ecuador.

• Quito Committee met on 2/11 but did not make any referrals.
• None of the 3 regional committees have made referrals in 2011, including for Ecuador nationals (domestic adoptions)
• Most offices in Ecuador will be closed March 5-10 for Carnival
• Government offices in Ecuador will be closed April 22 and 23 for Semana Santa or Holy Week
• The CHSFS in-country representative is requesting a meeting of all the committees (but I won't be holding my breath for that).

It's the same thing almost every month-Why the committees did not meet, etc. etc. My frustration goes far beyond just waiting for our referral. I think about all those children who could be placed in their forever families but they have to wait because a group of people can't get their acts together, do what they have to do, and start putting these children's first.

Childproofing

A couple of weeks ago I got word of a family from one of the online groups I belong to who received a referral from Ecuador. It was very refreshing to see that things are on the move again. But at the same time it brought on a little bit of anxiety. This waiting game is like something that I have never experienced before....its hard to explain all the emotions that one feels during this part of the journey. I am very thankful that I have had the distraction of a new job to keep me busy during this time. Hearing about a family that will soon travel and be united with their child made me realize that we are no where near being ready to travel to meet our child. There is so much to do! We could get a phone call tomorrow and then need to travel within 4 weeks. We are limited in a some of the preparation since we have not idea of the gender or age of our child yet. So I have been trying to think of all the things we could do to prepare for our little one.
One thing we need/can do is childproofing our house. So I'm putting this out there...What do we need to do? How do we go about doing this? I have been so busy reading about adoption topics that I have not educated myself on the general topics of raising a toddler.

Positive Adoption Language

The way we talk and the words we choose say a lot about what we think and value. When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family just as birth is. Both are important, but one is not more important than the other. Choosing the following positive adoption language instead of the negative talk that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, you will reflect the true nature of adoption, free of innuendo.

Positive Language-------------------Negative Language
Birth parent---------------------------- Real parent
Biological parent------------------------Natural parent
Birth child------------------------------Own child
My child--------------------------------Adopted child
Born to unmarried parents--------------Illegitimate
Terminated parental rights-------------Given up
Make an adoption plan------------------Give away
To parent-------------------------------To keep
Waiting child----------------------------Adoptable child
Biological or birthfather-----------------Real father
Making contact with--------------------Reunion
Parent----------------------------------Adoption parent
Intercountry adoption------------------Foreign adoption
Adoption triad--------------------------Adoption triangle
Permission to sign a release-------------Disclosure
Search----------------------------------Track down parents
Child place for adoption-----------------An unwanted child
Court termination----------------------Child taken away
Child with special needs----------------Handicapped child
Child from abroad----------------------Foreign child
Was adopted---------------------------Is adopted

*From Adoptive Family Magazine*

Immigration Extension

This weekend we finished filling out of I800A extension. Our immigration paper work will expire in April, so we needed to apply for an extension. This time it was not too much paperwork and it was free. I believe that we will have to get re-fingerprinted but all in all not too bad. If we end up waiting even long...I'm not sure what that process will be (and I don't what to even think about that yet). We also found out that our paper work was send to Cuenca (the city we visited while we were in Ecuador this year), Quito, and Guayaquil (Giovanni's home town). We were given the name of some of the orphanages that child from this program have been adopted from. We were also told that so far our program has not receive a referral from Guayaquil. I'm not sure of the reasons why but who knows maybe we could be the first.

Ecuador

It's about time! I have finally found some down time to tell you all HAPPY NEW YEAR and share with you our trip to Ecuador. It was not any easy transition back into the reality of our lives. I have told myself that next time we will have to try to have at least one day to decompress after a long trip.

We spent 16 days in Ecuador....

We got to spend time with family celebrating the marriage of two wonderful people; Giuseppe and Vivian. That night was beautiful (even if it was raining) and we had such a great time dancing the night away!

We celebrated Christmas Eve with some of Giovanni's family and Vivian's family. Then celebrated Christmas with Giovanni's family.

We were invited for a quick trip to the beach with Vivian's family. The hospitality of the Guevara family was amazing! We had such an amazing time. We ate lunch at this little place on the beach were they catch the fish right there from the ocean, cook it, and serve it to you. I normally don't eat fish or any seafood but I though I would give it a little taste and...it was pretty good. It was so fresh that it did not taste like any fish I have ever tried. After lunch we took about an 30 minute boat ride out to this coral reef to go snorkeling. The water was pretty clear and we were able to see a large school of fish. Giovanni's snorkeling excursion was cut a little short when he lost his snorkel. Luckily one of the guys hired to take us out there was able to somehow retrieve the lost snorkel. I can't take him anywhere ;) Then we drove up the coast to Montanita; a small town known for its surfing. It's a great place to people watch, a lot of hippies and world travelers. We ate some crepes and walked around the town looking at all the crafts and jewelry people were selling along the street.

Giovanni and I decided that we would take a little trip through the mountains to Cuenca. This is part of Ecuador I love exploring! It's so surreal, so simple. The drive took us through Cajas National Park. The views were breath taking. Could you imagine my excitement when we saw wild llamas grazing along the side of the road; one of which was a baby!

We spent a day in Cuenca exploring the city. It is filled with churches and history. We did some local artisan shopping and ate some of the local cuisine.

The next day we decided we were going to drive even further through the mountains to find Ingapirca. This is the largest known Inca ruins in Ecuador. It was not an easy drive to find this place, especially when its raining. There were many times were thought we were lost, stopped to ask for directions, or were just about to turn around and give up. But we finally found it and once we got there it stopped raining! We went on a nice tour of the ruins. At the end of the tour I could resist a chance to get up close and personal to some of the wild llamas that made their way up to one of the paths. Giovanni got some pictures before the guard came over to tell me to be careful because the llamas spit and it will burn your skin if it makes contact. I'm sure he was thinking this crazy gringa.

After Ingaprica we returned to Cuenca and went to the Toquilla Straw Hat Museum-Workshop. Here we learned all about the history and making of Panama hats. I know you might be thinking Panama hats come from Panama but no they originated and are make in Ecuador! Sorry no pictures....I forgot to take some while we were in there :(

On the drive back from Cuenca we stopped at a place called The Gardens of El Cajas and “The Virgin. As local legend has it, in 1989 a young girl from Cuenca supposedly received a message from the Virgin Mary. The girl decided to go to El Cajas in order to receive more messages. With time people who hoped to witness the “miracle” began to converge on the site where the girl is said to have received these messages. The “Virgin of El Cajas” is now officially recognized and venerated by the Catholic Church.

Driving through the mountains can be dangerous because of the dense fog. Coming home there were parts that were terrible I though were weren't going to make it!

Once we finally got home we had to repack our bags and head back to the beach. We were going to celebrate New Years there with the Guevara family. On New Years Eve we watched fireworks, ate 12 grapes at midnight (each grape signifies a wish for the new year), burned the anos viejos, and ate a wonder dinner.

The next day....we all went out to learn how to windsurf. Vivian's father is an avid windsurfer and agreed to teach us all. It's a lot harder than it looks. I got some pictures of Giovanni trying it...he gave up after about 15 minutes of trying. I on the other hand was determined to succeed. I think that I surprised everyone...even myself at how well I took to it. Sorry no pictures...my camera got taken back to the shore before it was my turn to try.

This trip to Ecuador was a little bitter sweet. It was great to spend time with family and explore new parts of Ecuador. But at the same time it was very difficult for me to be away from my family this Christmas. I also spent a lot of time thinking about our adoption while I was there. It was hard to see the women on the streets with their babies begging for money. It was hard to not empty out my pockets every time a young child came to me selling candy. My heart broke thinking about the life of these children. Think about how they are out 'working' instead of playing or being in school. My heart broke thinking about how this is the life my child could be experiencing right now. I went to bed many of nights with a heavy heart thinking about this.

I look forward to many more wonderful experiences and memories from Ecuador....I hope that 2011 will finally be the beginning of our new family.